k-dot's guide to Veggie Burgers.

kdot likes hers veggies
Since becoming a vegetarian, I have been on the search for the “perfect veggie burger”. It’s taken me some time to come up with parameters as there are different KINDS of veggie burgers. There are the “I miss meat” veggie burger (Harvey’s) where the TVP is used to “represent” the meat. Then, there are the “I LIKE veggies, that’s why I BECAME a vegetarian” veggie burgers that don’t try to hide that the “patty” is made from vegetables. Lastly (in my experience) there is the “Mom” veggie burger. This veggie burger is the patty that so many picky eater adults are familiar with. Their parents required that they eat more vegetables and as such, they served veggie burgers cause “you like burgers? Right?”.

I find that each has their purpose in my moofree diet. Usually the filler burgers (I miss meat) are served at fast food joints. If I want to stay out with my meatarian friends, they don’t feel threatened about choosing a lunch destination where “I can’t eat”. The meat grease from the grills kind of defeat the point. Perfect for hang overs (see – so close…).

The veggie burger is when I am feeling lazy. I want something that tastes good, but burgers aren’t traditionally the best thing on the menu (except SUPPOSEDLY Vera’s), I can vegout (hee-uk). Finally, the Mom burger’s role in my adult life is as an accomplice to shit-disturbing. Homophobic white guys with BBQ are afraid of vegetables. No, ketchup is not a vegetable you backwards ape. I love going to a picnic or party where it’s BYOB(eef) and I get heckled by the “man of the house” for eating those shitty vegetable things. What do you have against meat anyways?

Since the veggie burger is a truly flexible delicacy, I have decided to rank the GVRD/FVRD’s best easily available veggie burger. This will serve both as a warning to those wanting to pack in the veggies for the day and as a reference to me. Also, I have only lived in the city for 7 months people. I KNOW there are burgers yet to be explored. This list shall be updated…from time to time.

1st quarter, semi-annual, annual or biannual Veggie Burger Awards

In yummy place (tie): Public House Library Square + The Whip

The Public House burger is a tasty, juice combination of flavour and vegetables. You can order it without the glob of guacamole and salsa, but why WOULD you? Add the caesar salad and you’ve got a decadent meal.

The Whip‘s burger makes no excuses. The peas pop and the flavours stand out with each mouthful. Get ready for a little bit of heat since they smear their buns with spicy aoli. Combine with yam fries and the hottest waitresses in town, then give me a call. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

Honorable mention: White Spot

My old fall back, whenever I’m will a picky eater friend. Since it’s still, pretty much, a family restaurant, the pickiest eater can find something to eat (or at least drink a milkshake while I get some food). Just ask them for 1/2 the sauce. The patty IS hiding somewhere in there. Taste VERY good the second day. Consider eating half and saving the rest for later. I’m not crazy – it’s actually a very tasty sometimes snack.

In worst place (tie): Fatburger + Vera’s Meat Shack.

OF COURSE the worst veggie burgers would be bad here. Why they even serve them here; baffles. I suppose they have them so that “people like me” visit them at least once before getting their little blogbox and shouting to all vegetarians to keep away.

Had I not eaten the bland, dry, rubber husk of a Turkey burger there once or twice before, I might have had some expectations for this burger. It wasn’t that the Fatburger veggie was “bad”. It simply wasn’t good. I would give the Turkey burger a leg up as the grease allowed it to be at least a little moist. The vburg was dry as all the moisture had been cooked out of it until the outsides were brown. Add a stale bun and you’re done. Literally.

Vera’s was to please my hubs. Since the menu had mouth watering descriptions of all other items except the veggie burger (Veggie Burger: it’s a veggie burger.), I didn’t expect my meal to be too great. They didn’t disappoint. The greasy burger was a jumble of flavours and I couldn’t actually TELL if there were vegetable or rice or TCP or any other filler in there. The fries/onion rings were soaked with grease, so after having a few bites of each, I was done.

3 thoughts on “k-dot's guide to Veggie Burgers.”

  1. Hm, the TVP Burger intrigues me. I don’t think I’ve had one of those before. I’ve always found that veggie burgers are broken into three types: pressed veggie, soy burgers and mushroom burgers (pressed mushrooms, not the portabellos).

    The pressed veggie are my standard, and are the most common served by someone that is not a vegetarian. Some are really good, and some are really mediocre. Usually safe here, but a little bit dry.

    The soy burgers are downright nasty. I don’t know why people by these, but they are hands down the most common veggie burger I see from people who are vegetarian. I don’t know why they make themselves suffer. Yves makes a particularly detestable (yet offensively common) soy burger.

    The mush burgers are fantastic! If I see one of these on a menu, I will drop whatever else I was considering, and get one of these. They aren’t common, and I don’t know who makes them, but wow are they yummy.

    I suppose you could give honourable mention to portabello burgers and falafel.

    As for places, I know I’ve had some delicious veggie burgers, but I can’t think of places, only patties. That said, I usually take my veggie burgers with bacon, so it may not be the same without.

    The only places I can think of now are the UVic Caf, and Dix.

    Maybe it’ll come to me in my sleep.

    I hear KFC has a tofu/chicken burger now. Tofu-cken?

  2. While I disagree with a number of your points (ketchup is a vegetable or at least counts as one, but whether it is good for you probably depends on how much it is processed just like any other food), I can understand where you are coming from.

    Note on fat burger: Their burgers aren’t very good either so I’m not sure how they could possibly have a good veggie burger. I don’t understand how anyone can think that an overpriced mcdonalds hamburger can be considered good. Its $7 just for the burger!!!! the patty is 4oz (at Lick’s that was the kids burger).

    More options: Lick’s I believe these are available as a frozen option in some supermarkets here in BC, or available “fresh” in Ontario at Lick’s (the best hamburger place other than at my BBQ).

    Having worked at Lick’s for many a year and at multiple stores, and being in charge of making the veggie burgers for a large portion of that time, might make me some sort of an expert on the ingredients… But it doesn’t. Seriously all I know is you took a giant back of powder, poured in x amount of said powder, added water and spices and voila some sort of weird grey burger type patty.

    They were horrible to make, too much water and they would fall apart, to little and they would fall apart. If I develop lung cancer its not due to the years of removing asbestos without a mask I’m pretty sure its from the veggie burgers at Lick’s.

    All that aside, supposedly their pretty tasty. Most if not all of my vegetarian friends (its weird I have lots, even given the fact that I enjoy flaunting my meat in their face… <–awesome) have said that the Lick’s burger is handsdown the best of the “fastfood” burgers.

    They also try to cook them on the meat free side of the grill with separate tongs used only for the veggie burgers. Which is about as much of a guarantee you’ll get when minimum wage slaves are involved in cooking your burger.

  3. tomatoes are a fruit, last I checked…

    Am a little ticked that I forgot to mention the horror that is Red Robbin veggie burgers. I feel an edit coming on.

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